Tag Archives: Relationships

Simplify to Care

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Here in St. Louis spring is in full bloom. Many gardeners are tilling the soil, pulling up old roots and planting new seed. Spring is a time when we can create new visions for our home and family life. What do you want to plant in the garden of your life? This is a good time to reflect on caring for ourselves and others by simplifying our lives.

Simplify to Care

We live in a materialistic consumer oriented culture. Often the focus has been on money and stuff. We believe that our things reflect our importance in the world. The deeper truth is that who we are as persons has a much more powerful impact. Let this spring be a time to acknowledge the gift that you are. What are the gifts and strengths within yourself that you can now begin to express? What purpose would you like to serve? When you acknowledge the gifts that you have and that which gives you meaning, it is easier to let go of material items that no longer serve you.

Honor Your Relationships

Research over the last years has shown that our relationships bring a greater sense of well being and joy than status or the accumulation of stuff. Releasing your extra stuff allows you to share your compassion and feel connected to community. It gives a renewed sense of appreciation for others and yourself. It helps you feel connected to a broader purpose. Enjoy your community celebrations. Take a moment to acknowledge your value as a person, connect with your strengths and share. Happiness comes from connection.

Appreciate Nature

Take time to get out and appreciate nature. As we enjoy the sun, the air, the blooming flowers and the trees, it helps us to slow down and become more grounded. As we appreciate nature, we are reminded that we are a part of a much larger whole. Nature can give us a sense of awe. It helps us to reduce stress and put things in perspective.

Is It Love or a Red Flag? Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

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1. Push for quick involvement: comes on very strong, pressures for an exclusive commitment almost immediately
2. Jealousy: Excessively possessive: calls constantly, visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone:” checks your mileage
3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely, especially if you’re late, about whom you talked to and where you were. Keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.
5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses your supporters of “causing trouble;” deprives you of a phone or car.
6. Blames others: for his problems and mistakes: The boss, you—it’s always someone else’s’ fault.
7. Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings: says, you make me angry” instead of “I AM angry,” or, “you’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.
8. Hypersensitivity: Easily insulted, claiming his feelings are hurt when he is really mad; rants about things that are just part of life.
9. Cruel to animals or children: kills or punishes animals brutally; expects children to do things that are beyond their ability, i.e. whips a two year old for wetting a diaper; teases children until they cry. SIXTY FIVE PERCENT OF ABUSERS WHO HIT THEIR PARTNER WILL ALSO HIT CHILDREN.
10. “Playful” use of force during sex: enjoys throwing you down, holding you down against your will; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.
11. Verbal abuse: constant criticism, says cruel or hurtful things; degrades, curses you, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.
12. Rigid gender roles: expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. Sudden mood swings: switches from sweetly loving to explosive in a matter of minutes.
14. Past battering: admits hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it or the situation was to blame.
15. Threats of violence: makes statements like “I’ll break your neck” or “I’ll kill you,” then dismisses it with “everybody talks that way, you’re too sensitive” or “I didn’t mean it.” IF IT HAS COME THIS FAR, GET HELP OR GET OUT.
From the Project for Victims of Family Violence, Lafayette, ARK

Healthy Self-Love

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A Relationship Can Be Nice…

But learning to love YOU is the nicest gift of all. How can you expect someone else to treat you better than you treat yourself? What would your life look like if you set a goal of treating yourself in a healthy, loving, patient manner each day? Make a point acknowledging your special gifts speaking as kindly to yourself as you do to others!

Much of my work focuses on releasing the false assumptions about ourselves to discover the deeper truth which is much more positive. Take a moment to acknowledge your special strengths and the activities you enjoy. When you are in these activities you experience flow, feel enthusiastic, and excited. You also tend to create special projects around them. When you are in your strengths you are also more able to follow your vibes, honor your intuition, and take bigger risks.

This is your deeper connection with your essential self. When you invest your time and energy in these qualities, all of your relationships get better. Why? The more you discover the life sources within yourself, the more you will love yourself and the more you will see love in others.

Dr. Alice