Tag Archives: Stay positive

Build Your Self Esteem – Discover Your Strengths

By | |
Leave a comment

Each person has character strengths that are at the core of who they are.
You can tell when you are in your strengths when you find yourself “in the flow,”
enthusiastic, and become deeply absorbed in what you are doing. Character strengths
are deeply held, and are at the core of your being. They are so central to your
identity that suppressing or ignoring any of these strengths seems unnatural and
very difficult.

When you do not honor your strengths, you feel diminished. It takes energy from you.
For example if you have strengths of integrity and authenticity, not speaking your
truth makes you feel less than who you really are. When you honor your strengths,
you are more productive, and excited about new challenges.

One way to discover your strengths is to take the VIA Signature Strength Survey
at (no cost) www.authentichappiness.org. It will give you a description of your
top five character strengths. Then take a moment to reflect on how they have shown
up in your life. You will discover that they have helped you to rise to the occasion
to meet your challenges. Once you how they have helped you in the past, use them they more
frequently. You will discover you are a lot more happier and confident.

Keep the Romantic Spark Alive

By | | , ,
Leave a comment

What is the best way to kept to romantic spark alive? Stay positive. Happy couples maintain a ratio of five positive comments to every negative one. One way to focus on the positive is to purposefully honor the good events that happen to your mate and family members as well. When you react enthusiastically to their good fortune, it enhances and increases the pleasure everyone feels. Often, individuals, couples, and families come to me for help because they want my help in removing what they consider unfortunate and undesirable traits in their mates and family members. However, I have not found it helpful to focus on the negative, but rather to change the mindset.

It may surprise you to know that research finds changing your focus to the positive is more effective in promoting enjoyable relationships. It makes it much easier to problem-solve and resolve the issue. By focusing on the unique resources we each bring to the situation, cooperation becomes much more enjoyable. It changes our mindset from “Me versus you” to “we are all in this together.” When you do face stress, consider the following tips:

Tips for less stressful communication:
1. Use a calm voice
2. Be direct and respectful
3. Avoid sarcasm
4. Use “I need” rather than “you should”
5. Ask for clarification if you need to
6. Take deep breaths
7. Call a time out if needed
8. Don’t assume they “just know”
9. Don’t use “you never” or “you always”
10. Take your problems to a licensed therapist if you find yourselves in the same arguments over and over, if names are being called, or there is any hint of violence.
According to www.costofwedding.com, an average wedding costs $26,542. The average cost of six premarital counseling sessions is $800.

Dr. Alice